(no subject)

An interesting point came up in a conversation I was having with a friend. He asked me when was the last time I was in a relationship, and I realized it had been over ten years. He thought this was amazing, because he had a tendency to jump from one relationship to another. "Look at me.." he said. "You haven't been in a relationship for so long and here I am complaining about myself."

The thought that I haven't been in a relationship for so long scared me. Maybe what scares me is the realization of how long it's been since then, plus the fact that I feel like I've forgotten what it's like to be involved with somebody. Perhaps the scariest thing is that I feel like it may be too late for me to start one. Of course I know that's not true, it's never too late... but it certainly feels like it is.

It just reminds me how different my life is than how I imagined it would turn out to be. I can imagine infinite possibilities of how things might have turned out, but in the end, it's hard to tell how happy or sad I would have been. There's no use thinking about something like that. I'd just be lost in my own thoughts.

At least for now in this present life, I'm okay. That's all I can ask for.