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Scattered thoughts
Dec. 10th, 2011 06:16 pmIt's a rare night tonight that I have the house to myself. My aunt had to attend another wedding tonight, and so she's sleeping over at a hotel in Long Island.
I finally got the results to my GRE exam. Math was less than mediocre, but my English score was apparently higher than average. It's hard to see how this affects anything until I start applying for schools. Right. Maybe it's time I started inquiring about my options, because I don't really know where to go from here. It's a little scary. What if I'm a total failure and can't get into anything? Oof. Well, can't know until I try, right?
As for my dream, I need to learn to be more open and also be able to develop my ideas more clearly. I'm so bad at developing and supporting my own ideas. It's why I fail at arguments. I'm better at taking an existing idea and expanding on that, or maybe even combining two ideas together. My strength is in building upon and connecting things together. It's more of a support role I suppose. I'm better at team building rather than leadership, although I can be a leader if I needed to be. I just do it reluctantly. But yeah, I also need to be more open. That's why I'm trying to leave my journal public, even though I'm sure not too many people stumble upon here. I'm not trying to make any new friends or anything... I just want to symbolically be able to say.. "Here I am" instead of "Nothing Here, Keep Away." Eventually I'll be able to do this in real life as well.
I've been playing games with my friends a lot lately at night. It makes me really miss them back in Los Angeles. To tell the truth though, I also get a little annoyed when ALL they talk about are about games. I mean, I don't really share the same extreme joy they do when they find a rare item that increases lightning spell damage by 13% on undead mobs. But we laugh together about the same silly things, and we're there to support each other in the tough times. I realized that's what really matters in our friendship. It's like in the opening song from Cheers, "You wanna be where you can see the troubles are all the same, you wanna be where everybody knows your name."
Oh, on anime.. I'm re-watching Slayers and Cardcaptor Sakura. Not all at once, just an episode or two a day. Those two shows will keep me busy for a while. At the rate I'm going though, I'll be done in several months.
I finally got the results to my GRE exam. Math was less than mediocre, but my English score was apparently higher than average. It's hard to see how this affects anything until I start applying for schools. Right. Maybe it's time I started inquiring about my options, because I don't really know where to go from here. It's a little scary. What if I'm a total failure and can't get into anything? Oof. Well, can't know until I try, right?
As for my dream, I need to learn to be more open and also be able to develop my ideas more clearly. I'm so bad at developing and supporting my own ideas. It's why I fail at arguments. I'm better at taking an existing idea and expanding on that, or maybe even combining two ideas together. My strength is in building upon and connecting things together. It's more of a support role I suppose. I'm better at team building rather than leadership, although I can be a leader if I needed to be. I just do it reluctantly. But yeah, I also need to be more open. That's why I'm trying to leave my journal public, even though I'm sure not too many people stumble upon here. I'm not trying to make any new friends or anything... I just want to symbolically be able to say.. "Here I am" instead of "Nothing Here, Keep Away." Eventually I'll be able to do this in real life as well.
I've been playing games with my friends a lot lately at night. It makes me really miss them back in Los Angeles. To tell the truth though, I also get a little annoyed when ALL they talk about are about games. I mean, I don't really share the same extreme joy they do when they find a rare item that increases lightning spell damage by 13% on undead mobs. But we laugh together about the same silly things, and we're there to support each other in the tough times. I realized that's what really matters in our friendship. It's like in the opening song from Cheers, "You wanna be where you can see the troubles are all the same, you wanna be where everybody knows your name."
Oh, on anime.. I'm re-watching Slayers and Cardcaptor Sakura. Not all at once, just an episode or two a day. Those two shows will keep me busy for a while. At the rate I'm going though, I'll be done in several months.
