Friendship?

I used to hate routine days... but now I sorta find them comfortable. Maybe it's because I've been losing a lot of things in my life that now it feels as if certainty and routine are good things.

I'm graduating, finally. Finally.

It seems like an end to a dream. My college life will disappear in just a few weeks. I'm trying to get used to that feeling of ending. These days of routine are going to end... and something new will begin.

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The girls in my class are talking to me a lot lately. It's weird. I'm just sitting there quietly, and they just start talking to me.
Unfortunately, I'm still as bad at conversations as I've always been. I worry about my ability to form new lasting friendships in this point of my life. I feel like I don't really -care- as much as I did before about friendship. I've noticed I meet people easily just be doing the things I do.
The trouble is actually keeping and maintaing those friendships. I have a hard time keeping friendships with girls especially.

I guess friendship is a pretty complex thing sometimes.

Maybe what I need is companionship, and not friendship. Aren't they the same thing? Well, I think there are slight differences between the two. I constantly think of myself as alone, even though I have friends and family. Companionship would mean an answer to that feeling of being alone.

I'd love to have a pet. I bet that would certainly fill the few holes that are in my life. I want someone or something there that's always with me, through good times and bad.

This feeling of being alone is different from loneliness. I've come closer to accepting loneliness as a part of life. I've recently read some Japanese poetry about lost loves and longing, and I realized that I was no different from them. These poets of old.... I wish I could meet them, but I can only read their words now, hundreds of years later after they've gone.  Would I have been able to be friends with them?