Oou...toothache, but without the tooth...

I had my tooth pulled out on Friday night.
Till now, the taste of blood still lingers in my mouth...
I feel like a vampire.

Most of my homework is finished, so I have a free night tonight. I'm feeling a little bored, actually. A lot of thoughts come to mind again. It's another one of those nights when I stare into space while listening to music...

A family friend passed away this weekend. He used to give me haircuts when I was just a kid. Man, I'm really starting to hate this year. So many things are happening... things that I used to think were somewhat permanent in my life are disappearing.

I started looking for a girlfriend again, and I started laughing at myself. I don't know if it's the right time yet. I was reading an article saying that for guys to commit themselves, they need to be "ready." Girls, on the other hand, are ready to jump into a relationship as soon as they meet Mr. Right. I really don't know if this is right... or if there are any scientific facts supporting this... but intuitively, it seems that's true. I aks myself time and time again... am I ready? I just worry how compatible I am with girls out there. Honestly, I just don't click with any of the girls I meet. I wonder if I just have high standards... or maybe it's something else?

I think I allowed myself to be more open to friendships and relationships in response to my best friend joining the navy. It's just going to be weird without him to hang out with. No more random nights where I can just call and say "Hey, let's watch a movie!"

Change is scary. I'm hating it a lot. I don't want to admit to my counselor or to myself... but I still feel alone. And it's scary. But I'll do what I can. I won't give up.