Politics... and other stuff

You know it's my first weekday evening (6-10 PM) to myself in over several weeks? It's refreshing. I don't really have to worry about anything tonight. Sigh, but I do have to figure out what to eat for dinner. I don't want to waste this evening either by sitting around, but I have a feeling I'll end up doing just that.

Have you ever become tired of eating the same things every week? My choices are limited to the same things...

Instant Ramen
Carl's Jr.
Chicken
Teriyaki
Subway

Sometimes, even when my stomach is growling, I don't want to eat. ^^; Does this make me spoiled? Even the things I can cook don't seem so appealing. I feel bad since "there's a starving kid out there who would give anything to eat." Here I am, with a bunch of choices and in no real danger of starving... and I'm just tired of it all.

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Politics..

My thoughts today have been filled with how powerful the US has been since after the Cold War. However, I don't think US power will last. It's losing its resources, while places like China and India have lots of resources available. I think the US has been so accustomed to being the "King of the Hill" for such a long time now that it's going to get messy once that's not true anymore. We've been so accustomed to thinking we're better... Because of this belief, we have a tendency to force our beliefs (capitalism) onto everyone else in an effort to "help" them. We're naive to do that. So stupidly naive. Look at Iraq. We're forcing our agenda onto a culture that's really different from ours. Of course we'll be met with hostility.

Is what we do right? I don't know, I shouldn't be the one to talk... but it does distress me that this is the way America does things. From the beginning, America was doomed to become an expansionist country. The trouble with this is, once you're out of places to expand or the resources to do it... you're done.

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My life right now feels I fell off my bike in a bike race.... and it's only now that I've finally picked myself up and started going again. I keep wondering when the race will end, but everyone is so far off in the disance that I can't ask anyone...

I hate explaining to everyone why I've been in college for so long. "Oh, I was depressed, and I wanted to kill myself for some time... I think I'm okay now?" lol, no, I don't actually say that. But heck, everyone's always bothering me about it.

I never told anyone I was depressed, so nobody really knew about it. I just tell everyone that I switched majors, so I had to make up for the classes I needed.. but that's only the half-truth. The bottom line was that I was depressed and I didn't want to do anything. I only recovered about two years ago when I started becoming interested in things again.

I wonder how different my life would be if none of that stuff ever happened.
This journal wouldn't exist..
I wouldn't be in the Psychology major..
I wouldn't still be in college..
My parents wouldn't be giving me such a hard time to graduate..

Depression sucks, no doubt about it. I hate seeing people go through it. I'm worthless at giving advice too. All it seems I can do is listen...