Sep. 23rd, 2016

second_flight: (Default)
I've been going out to stuff with this girl, but I really don't know what to think of it. The first time I met her, we kind of flirted a bit and her friends did the "awwww you two are so cute together" shtick. At the time, I was interested in getting to know her and I thought she was cute. But I was also drunk and feeling lonely at the time.

I asked her out a few times after that, but it was more in a friendly way. It was like... "Hey, you like so and so? Me too! Let's go do that sometime." We did, and it was cool, but now I'm getting a little scared each time we go out. I like being friends, and I don't want the relationship to become more. Even though I am curious what would happen if I asked her out seriously, I don't want to mess anything up between us.

Because I know getting to know someone is messy. Falling in love is messy. I'd rather not deal with that. They say it's better to have loved and lost then to not have loved at all. But I'm not scared of losing. I'm scared that I'm the one who will be doing the leaving.

Or maybe I'm misreading the whole context and this really is just a friendly thing. I really hope it's just that.

She asked me out this weekend, and I said yes. She told me she would bake cookies for me.

I'm scared.


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