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Jan. 14th, 2015 06:45 pmI grew up in an Asian household. Although I'm Filipino, and I'm not generally considered as part of the Asian standard, we still share a lot of the same culture and traditions. Growing up, my parents expected straight A's, sent me to take music lessons, and dreamed that one day I would become a doctor or a lawyer. Nothing less than perfection. The trouble about this is that I was also growing up in America.
School stopped being fun for me around the 4th grade. We had to learn things that I didn't really care about, and I couldn't relate to much of the subject matter. I didn't understand why we had to learn the things we were forced to learn. My grades dropped, and my parents got mad at me constantly. Everyone kept telling me that I was smart, but I always thought that's what they told all the children. The truth was that I loved to learn about things, just not in school. I believed learning was fun and amazing... but just not when I was forced to study something I didn't understand how to practically apply. I was never told why anything was important, and I think that was one of my biggest problems.
I found myself increasingly isolated at school as well. Most of the things I loved and was interested in wasn't shared by anyone else. Whenever I tried to talk about my interests with classmates, I would get blank stares or even be considered childish. To make things worse, my best friend decided he would stop talking to me so he could hang out with the "cooler" crowd. At recess I would sit alone because I had no interests in sports, and my other option was to sit with the girls which I really didn't want to do at the time. School became the most hated place in the world. Naturally, my grades never really picked up. My parents were a big source of stress as well, because I knew I could never live up to their expectations.
I guess in response, I became a dreamer. I kept dreaming that one day I could get far away from that world.
I've made many good friends since then, and I've improved my grades and everything... but at the same time I feel like that little boy sitting alone at the lunch tables will always be who I am.
School stopped being fun for me around the 4th grade. We had to learn things that I didn't really care about, and I couldn't relate to much of the subject matter. I didn't understand why we had to learn the things we were forced to learn. My grades dropped, and my parents got mad at me constantly. Everyone kept telling me that I was smart, but I always thought that's what they told all the children. The truth was that I loved to learn about things, just not in school. I believed learning was fun and amazing... but just not when I was forced to study something I didn't understand how to practically apply. I was never told why anything was important, and I think that was one of my biggest problems.
I found myself increasingly isolated at school as well. Most of the things I loved and was interested in wasn't shared by anyone else. Whenever I tried to talk about my interests with classmates, I would get blank stares or even be considered childish. To make things worse, my best friend decided he would stop talking to me so he could hang out with the "cooler" crowd. At recess I would sit alone because I had no interests in sports, and my other option was to sit with the girls which I really didn't want to do at the time. School became the most hated place in the world. Naturally, my grades never really picked up. My parents were a big source of stress as well, because I knew I could never live up to their expectations.
I guess in response, I became a dreamer. I kept dreaming that one day I could get far away from that world.
I've made many good friends since then, and I've improved my grades and everything... but at the same time I feel like that little boy sitting alone at the lunch tables will always be who I am.
