A place to call home?
Sep. 18th, 2009 09:35 pm
I really do miss living back at my apartment at school. There were certain things I could do there that I can't do at home that make all the difference in the world. Like during the early evenings at twilight, I would stand outside on my balcony just listening to the world. This picture is the scene I would see every evening... I would listen to the cars zooming by on the road, the chatter of students as they come back from class, the crickets chirping to the wind... I would look forward to moments like those. It was an instance in the day when I could unwind and let my mind wander without much distraction.
I loved being alone. I had complete control over my day. I would decide when to wake up, when to eat, and what my schedule would be like. At home, I'm around my parents consistently. They tend to nag me all the time. They make a big fuss about what time I sleep, what I eat, what I wear...etc. I mean geez. x_x My dad even constantly asks me "So son.. what are you thinking?" for no reason at all. I hate all that, since I'm a very private person. It's understandable, since parents tend to be like that... but it makes me miss being alone.
Although I love my parents, I think I want to try being on my own again. My aunt even suggested I move to New York and find some psychology jobs over there. My parents aren't driving me to the point of craziness (yet) though, and it's still nice living at home. As I've come to realize, these days probably won't last forever. I want to enjoy it as much as I can for the time that's left.
Once my family learns what'll happen to our house, I'll make plans on what to do next. It's really hard just waiting for news on what will happen. Will our house be foreclosed? Will we have to move far away? It feels like everything's in a state of suspended animation as we wait for what's coming, whatever that is.
Why does everything feel so fragile in my life now? Even things like home don't last forever, do they?