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Stuffy stuff
Aug. 17th, 2009 09:50 pmIt's weird. I have a lot of things on my mind that I wish I could write down on LJ, but as soon as I sit down on my comp, I can't seem to find the words I'm looking for. A lot of different thoughts and questions have come to mind lately, but I can never seem to write them down. I was hoping to turn my LJ in something more organized, with topics and subjects all lined up. However, I think I'm so used to this being my haven for random thoughts that it'll always stay the way it is.
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It was my grandfather's birthday today, or would have been. It's been about 6 months now since he passed away, and it still feels weird to think that he's gone. My family visited his grave early this morning. I had to fight back the tears. I didn't want my parents to make a fuss if they saw me crying. Sometimes I imagine myself falling asleep next to his grave in hopes that I would see him again in my dreams. I still miss him.
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I always thought that once I became an adult, things would be easier. But nope. I see my parents and friends older than me, and I see them struggling in life as well. In a lot of ways, I still feel like an immature teen. My parents don't waste their time reminding me about that either. I suppose all parents nag their children though. Growing up has always been a complicated thing and I haven't quite figured out how I fit into everything yet.
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It was my grandfather's birthday today, or would have been. It's been about 6 months now since he passed away, and it still feels weird to think that he's gone. My family visited his grave early this morning. I had to fight back the tears. I didn't want my parents to make a fuss if they saw me crying. Sometimes I imagine myself falling asleep next to his grave in hopes that I would see him again in my dreams. I still miss him.
---------------
I always thought that once I became an adult, things would be easier. But nope. I see my parents and friends older than me, and I see them struggling in life as well. In a lot of ways, I still feel like an immature teen. My parents don't waste their time reminding me about that either. I suppose all parents nag their children though. Growing up has always been a complicated thing and I haven't quite figured out how I fit into everything yet.
