Where to go from here....

After a bit of time for reflection, I can see things with a bit more clarity. Right now, I'm in a pretty comfy situation living back at home.  I don't need to worry about income for awhile until I figure out what I need to do next in my life. I already miss the learning environment of college though.  If anything, I'd love to be in a field where I continually learn new things. My parents are suggesting I work as an assistant psychiatrist, and that's definitely an option. It might be hard to get a position like that though, considering how the job market and economy are right now.. x_x  I'm a bit behind too, considering I just graduated when I should have done so 4 years ago. To explain why it took so long, I'm still hiding the fact that I was depressed back then. Instead I'm using the excuse that I switched majors from Computer Science to Psychology. It's the truth too, but it's only half the truth. 

You know, I'd LOVE to work at the zoo. I don't know if I'd like to dedicate my life to that, but I think I would enjoy working with animals for a bit. But right now, I'll pretty much have to start from scratch. I don't have a network I can count on. I really -hate- networking, since it seems so artificial to me, but it's almost always required in job hunting. You gotta know people, it seems, to be able to climb the networking/social ladder.

I guess something scary I've also realized is that I don't really have any plans on getting married. Objectively, it doesn't make much sense right now in my life. I also have very low compatibility with many of the girls my age and around where I live. My way of thinking and acting is just really socially deviant. Subjectively, I'd rather take care of my family for now too. My parents are getting tired trying to survive in this economy, and the sooner I can get an income, the sooner I can help them out. Those are my thoughts about it right now. If I get married, it'll be a -really- long time from now, but I'm fine with that.

I also need to find something else to keep me busy... a new hobby. When I was in school, in my free time I would usually take walks, play video games, or practice piano. However, these things were more of relaxing agent rather than a hobby. I need a hobby that I can work on consistently. I guess practicing piano is good, but I think I've given up hope on ever becoming really good. It takes a lot of time to perfect pieces, and besides that... I would freeze up if I ever had to perform in front of anyone. I'm happy just practicing the things I like, and just for myself.

Taking up a new hobby would be easier once I get my car. I'm interested in taking up archery, or maybe fencing, or even write a short story. It seems the possibilities are endless. I think that's a problem right now there. There are just too many possibilities and things that I'm interested that it's confusing to know where to turn next... but heck, I know I can apply what I figured out in college. "I just need to take things one step at a time and focus on the things I need to do."   This approach eventually wore out my dad, even though he was really critical of me before. I just did what I needed to do, despite all the criticisms and hardships. In the end, the perseverance paid off.

I do have a lot of thoughts and fears about what's next though. I mean, that's the big question, right? What's next?

For now, I'll just focus on what I need to do. Which is....