(no subject)

It's amazing how the topic of depression has been coming up a lot of times this week. I had a chat with my friend today for dinner, and he was saying how he was depressed lately. He told me about how he tried to talk to people about it...
"Ah, I'm really feeling bad today." A typical response would be... "Oh, I completely understand. Let me tell you about MY experiences about depression." My friend laughed about that. It's like saying, "Let me tell something about MYSELF that will relate to you." It doesn't really help the problem.

People are always offering solutions. People always know everything... like what's best for you, or how you should act.

"You know what's good about you?" he said to me. "You don't offer any solutions, but you know how to listen. I guess that's why people like talking to you."

I guess I've been realizing this really slowly in my life. With all my friends, I've had one on one time where they told me about their lives. I had countless of nights where I had deep conversations about the meaning of life, and analyzing problems from childhood. It's amazing when I think about it. All those moments, chatting away at 2 AM in the morning over a cup of soda in a restaurant... or sitting on the sofa just talking.. I guess I live for those times. It's a little tough not being able to offer any solutions though..

Tonight was also the first time I told anyone in real life that I was depressed. I guess lately I've been open about when I was depressed, but I never really say why. My friend was a little aggravated with me.. "You have so many secrets. How do I know what's going on with you?" And I smiled back... "It's fun having secrets, " I said. "It feels like you're in control when you're actually not."

He also asked me why I got into Psychology. I told him I like the feeling of being self-aware of what's going on. By knowing what will happen, you have a "preemptive strike" on your actions in the future. He told me that THAT was actually his problem... thinking too much about the future. He had a tendency to overthink things (so do I sometimes). He asked me, "How do you stop that from happening?" I wasn't sure how to answer him. My best answer was... "You learn your limitations and you learn how to catch yourself." I didn't feel it was a good enough answer though.

He also asked me "How do you get out of depression?" I had to laugh at myself for that.. I didn't know the answer. Even with all the psychology theory in the world... the answer will always be different for each person. For myself, I just woke up one day and realized that I didn't want to live that way (depressed) anymore. I made it a point to ignore all the bad things I thought about.. and I found something to focus on. I told him something open-ended. "You'll figure it out one day when you also get out of your depression." There's no way else I could have said that to answer his question.

We sat at the restaurant for about 4 hours. It felt a little like a counseling session, and I wondered what it would be like if I did this for a living. 4 hous didn't seem like enough time. There were so many other things to talk about... so many other things to look at. But then he thanked me in the end. "I feel a little better now."

I can't say that the solution to depression is just having someone to listen to you...
But now I realize how much it helps if you do have someone who can.
I wonder if I should open up a bit more...?