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May. 3rd, 2007 08:19 pmIt's funny how sometimes you have things planned out.. and then they never happen. I was planning to quit the dance team after the concert, but I ended up staying. I wonder how much of life is like that. As a child, you have all these things planned out, like becoming an adventurer, or an astronaut... but how many of those things actually come true?
I guess when it comes down to it, it makes me laugh. When I started college, I wanted to become a computer programmer and that was that. Now I'm a psychologist, and also part of the dance company... something I never would have thought myself doing. Things never really go as planned. And my dream about living in Japan? It's still there, but now I'm actually thinking about continuing on with school to get a PHD. I heard the government is looking for psychologists. Who knows what will happen?
It's hard always trying to predict the future. I would never have imagined myself staying in college for 7 years, switching majors, or becoming involved in a dance company. It's funny what life throws at you. In a sense, I've kinda lost myself in the whole mess, but at the same time, I've seen parts of me I would've never thought existed.
Next year I'll be alone. I have a room all to myself as well. My friends are all graduating. It's a scary, lonely feeling. I question myself.. "What the heck am I still doing here?" But this is my life. This is how it turned out. And I need to keep fighting.
My dad says I need ambition.
But I can't find it.
So what do I think about all of this? It's hard to say right now. I can't even really say what kind of person I turned out to be... because if I do figure it out, I know eventually I will change, and I'll have to keep searching for myself all over again.
I guess when it comes down to it, it makes me laugh. When I started college, I wanted to become a computer programmer and that was that. Now I'm a psychologist, and also part of the dance company... something I never would have thought myself doing. Things never really go as planned. And my dream about living in Japan? It's still there, but now I'm actually thinking about continuing on with school to get a PHD. I heard the government is looking for psychologists. Who knows what will happen?
It's hard always trying to predict the future. I would never have imagined myself staying in college for 7 years, switching majors, or becoming involved in a dance company. It's funny what life throws at you. In a sense, I've kinda lost myself in the whole mess, but at the same time, I've seen parts of me I would've never thought existed.
Next year I'll be alone. I have a room all to myself as well. My friends are all graduating. It's a scary, lonely feeling. I question myself.. "What the heck am I still doing here?" But this is my life. This is how it turned out. And I need to keep fighting.
My dad says I need ambition.
But I can't find it.
So what do I think about all of this? It's hard to say right now. I can't even really say what kind of person I turned out to be... because if I do figure it out, I know eventually I will change, and I'll have to keep searching for myself all over again.
